The Trouble With Beards

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 The Trouble With Beards


Your beard might make you look distinguished, but for sure it will make you look older.

Birds, etc. might nest in it.

It might get stuck in the zipper of your coat.

You will get maple syrup in it when you lick the syrup off your plate after eating your pancakes.

Your beard might find its way into your soup bowl as well, and then drip soup into your lap.

You could be mistaken for a member of the old rock band, ZZ Top.

You have to keep it trimmed, unless you’re a poet or a prophet. 

If you don’t trim it, you better get poetic or prophetic, or you will just look pathetic.

Icicles form on it in winter, and in your wife’s icy stare when you ask her for a kiss.

Don’t blame her. It’s probably impossible to locate your lips amongst your facial shrubbery.

Hmm, maybe you can melt her with a love poem. After you prune your whiskers, that is.

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